Most of us know the winter holidays as “merry and bright,” but this isn’t always the case. For many, the winter holidays can be extremely stressful. And for those who have service animals*, that stress can come in an uncommon form, despite the fact that many of our service dogs pull double duty as emotional support dogs on top of their trained tasks**.

How do you handle people coming over to your house? How do you handle going over to someone else’s home? These aren’t things that are normally discussed. Let’s go over a few areas to consider.

Service Dog Etiquette–Does it Change During the Holidays?

Service dog etiquette is normally pretty straightforward–don’t try to attract the dog’s attention. This means no talking to or cooing over them. It means no petting the dog. This means no eye contact, no treats, and no asking them to do a trick for you.

This can be hard for some people to grasp. And when you’re in a house, it can feel like the rules should maybe change. Especially over the holidays. After all, you’re not crossing paths with a working dog in a grocery store or theater; this is a house, and it’s a holiday. Why can’t they get a break?

Because their ‘break,’ if the service dog’s handler had to travel to get here, would likely be them having stayed home. It can be hard to understand, but being out with the general public, isn’t necessarily ‘a break’ for the dog, regardless of how much they love getting affection. This includes being at a party for the holidays.

How to Handle a Service Dog at a Party

If there is a trained service dog at a party you are going to, chances are, they’re there to work. Just like the service animal you see at the grocery store or theater.

But They’re at Home–Aren’t They off Duty?

Not necessarily. If you’re at the service dog handler’s house, and they make it clear the dog is off duty, feel free to give them the same affection you’d give a normal pet. If they have a vest on, are staying close to their person, or are actively tasking, assume they’re working and leave them alone.

What if the Dog Comes to my House?

If the service dog’s handler is coming to your house for a party over the holidays, you will know ahead of time due to public access laws. If you agreed to let them bring their service dog, it’s considerate to put your pets away while the service dog is in the building. It’s also a good idea to let the handler know where the dog can go ‘out.’

Baby-proofing your house isn’t a bad idea, either. Service dogs are still dogs. Put the chocolate and xylitol away. Move the poisonous plants out of the way. If there’s any fragile possessions that are at the right height for a wagging tail to knock over, move them to a higher shelf. The service dog’s handler will be making several calculations to make sure the dog stays out of accidental trouble, but any little help you can give them will be appreciated.

Alert anyone who is bringing children that there will be a service dog, and to please talk to their little ones about what that means–the dog isn’t there to play. It’s working.

For those with ice and snow in the winter. If you can avoid putting salt down, or leave a swath of sidewalk unsalted, please do so. Sidewalk salt will dry out dog paws, and if they lick it off the pads of their feet, it can be even worse for their insides.

Other Miscellaneous Tips

• If you’re at a party and you see the service dog and their handler step outside, let them. Chances are that either the dog has to go potty, or the handler needs to get out of the middle of everything. One of Cor’s specific tasks is that he is able to notice when I’m getting overly stressed and ‘find the exit’. Being able to walk outside, take a bit of a break with people, and completely fill my lungs without fearing I’m encroaching on someone’s space allows me to stay in a public area longer. I’m also able to fake extroversion more easily if I can take breaks. If I’m outside and someone comes up and starts trying to get me to be social before I come back inside, it’s not going to go well.
• If there’s a person with a service dog at a party in a public place, it’s a good idea not to take the large stall. I’ve walked into bathrooms just as someone is entering the large stall, and it’s a different sort of ‘uh-oh’. Cor and I can squeeze into a smaller one, but the larger stalls are a lot easier.
• DON’T FEED THEM FOOD OFF THE TABLE! The service dog’s handler will likely have brought the dog food and/or treats. These dogs are spoiled when it comes to treats, but not food-off-the-table spoiled for reasons explained under the next heading.
• Don’t bark at the dog. I had this happen for the first time, recently. At a mall. Cor did well and ignored the guy that did it, but be aware–you’re not funny, and you’re distracting.
• An alert can look aggressive, if you don’t know what you’re looking at. A dog jumping up on a person, giving a single bark, or grabbing a scratching or picking hand in their mouth can be an alert or response. These aren’t aggressive actions.

Service Dog at the Christmas dinner table

There are things that, while not stated in ADA law, are generally considered ‘service animal rules’. (ADA is the Americans with Disabilities Act.) Among them is that the dog isn’t allowed to eat off the table. Begging can be considered ‘out of control.’ An out of control dog is able to be kicked out.

What service dogs should do is be able to lay calmly under a table or chair. There are other times, specifically at holidays my family has at home, where we will put the dogs in their kennels with a chew treat, instead.

The biggest compliment you can give the handler of a trained service animal is a shocked “I forgot he was under there!” when you get up from the table. That is the goal for a service dog team–for the dog member to either go unnoticed, or be forgotten by those around them.

Why Can’t I Slip the dog Some Food as a Reward? They’re Being so Good!

Exactly. Because we’ve trained for that.

You don’t know what the assistance dog can have, or what their allergic reaction may be. Cor is allergic to chicken, and it shows itself via stomach bloat. A bloat can be deadly to a dog. I would get extremely mad at someone for risking the life of my medical equipment because they wanted to give him a treat.

Beyond that, giving the dog a treat is both distracting the dog’s attention from their handler. It could also be undermining the value of the treats their human has. If the dog decides they like your treats better, the dog’s attention may be more focused on you than on doing a trained task for the actual dog owner.

Service Dog at Church

Churches and other places of worship aren’t required to provide public accommodation for a service dog. Whether the animal is a guide dog or a diabetes alert dog, they’re allowed to refuse them.

I, personally, have not had a church actually do so when I called to ask permission to bring Cor. What I have had, is finding out we are not the only service dog team in the church. In my experience, this hasn’t been a big deal, because Cor is trained to ignore other dogs when he’s working. He looked up, and I could tell he smelled the other dog, but he settled his head back down in short order.

That said, chances are that these dog owners won’t sit next to each other in Church. I try to give the other service dog team space, as I don’t know what that dog has been trained to ignore, and vice versa. I also try to leave a different way than they do, and not at the same time. Is it because I don’t trust Cor? Absolutely not. It’s simply because I figure that it’s better safe to be sorry.

There’s likely a better chance of running into a service dog at Church around the holidays that the place of worship celebrates. For me, that’s Christmas and Easter. For others, it’s other holidays. When there are more people that come to church, the chances to run into a service dog go up.

So, What Should I do?

The goal here is the same as at the dinner table–“I didn’t know they were there!”

If you have a hard time ignoring a dog that is laying on the floor, minding its own business, it’s a good idea to just move to another seat. Whether there’s one service dog team in the building or multiple, there are calculations going on in the service dog handler’s head that you may not even consider could be a thing. They may be avoiding another team. They may be avoiding someone they know is allergic to dogs–something else I’ve done. You don’t know. So if you can’t handle yourself, quietly get up and move.

If you have to pass by them to get to your seat, don’t try to attract the dog’s attention. Simply let them be.

How To Be A Good Visitor to a Service Dog Home During The Holidays

Take your cue from the handler and the dog itself–if they’re working as a team, let them work. If the dog is walking around, chewing on toys and getting petted, they’re likely off duty. But you can never go wrong with checking with the handler.

There’s a lot going on underneath the surface you likely aren’t aware of. There’s a lot of hidden aspects to the service dog life. To find out more, get a free version of my book Six Feet to Independence.

 

*I don’t use the term ‘disabled person/disabled handlers’ or anything referring to something someone goes through as that person’s disability. This is because I don’t believe that’s an accurate description–those of us with service dogs are not unable to do things. We simply go about it with more care/caution, or in a different way. Not all service dog handlers will feel this way–it’s often just a word that we all recognize, and so it’s used. There’s also the fact that you can only have a service dog if you have a disability/are a disabled person. Just because I don’t use this word, doesn’t mean I’m not aware of it, or that it’s a necessary prerequisite to having a service dog.

 

**Emotional support animals are different from service dogs. Just because they also do the work of an emotional support dog doesn’t mean they’re not service dogs. That said, an emotional support animal isn’t necessarily a service dog. The ‘blog post’ on that starts on page 23 of the Six Feet to Independence PDF that you can get here.