Service dogs are, as any handler will tell you, a huge help and even a lifesaver. That doesn’t mean they don’t cause frustration for their person at the same time.

Service dogs are, at their core, dogs. They will have times when they don’t want to behave or do what their handler is asking them to. Yes, this happens despite the exhaustive training they’ve gone through that. This training separates the real service dogs from the fake service dogs.

Having a service animal can often feel isolating. This is especially true if you’re doing all the training yourself and don’t know any other handlers/service dog trainers. This dog is supposed to be a service animal. Yet, it’s stealing shoes, ripping up snotty tissues, and taking victory laps around the neighborhood after someone left the door open. (All of which Cor has done within the last week.)

Sometimes, you can need emotional support when it comes to your medical equipment.

What Can You Do?

There are a few different ways service dog owners can handle being on the brink of a panic attack due to their dog’s behavior. Some of them are more helpful than others.

Scream into a Pillow

This method of releasing frustration isn’t necessarily productive, and it might make your dog concerned. Especially if some of its trained tasks are so that it can be a psychiatric service dog.

All the same, it can be cathartic, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I don’t use this method on bad days. On really bad days, when whatever my dog was doing was a really big deal, I sometimes haven’t even made it to the pillow.

Bottle it up and Push Through

This… is not a good idea. Especially when some of the dog’s trained tasks are to cue into your emotional state. Our animals will pick up on even emotions we try hard to hide. This is why emotional support dogs and therapy dogs are a thing–dogs are good at this.

If you just bottle up your frustrations, the dog will notice, and it can mess with training like interference messes with a radio signal.

Talk to Someone who has Been There

As much as it might feel like it on the bad days, you’re not the only one with a service animal that pushes you past your frustration tolerance. And, sometimes, it can help to just get it out of your system. Show up and unload on someone who can sympathize, and then give you actionable steps to work through this. That way your training sessions won’t suffer from the lack of communication.

The best thing for this is a service dog doula.

Service Dog Doula

A service dog doula isn’t a professional trainer, so it’s recommended you still look for a service dog trainer in the area you’re looking to train your dog.

Service dog doulas are someone who has gone through training with their own service animal, and who can relate to the real-life struggles and near-anxiety attacks even your true service dog can give you.

A service dog doula is there for emotional support as your dog’s behavior can drive you up the wall, at times.

They’re someone unbiased that can listen to what you’re struggling with and sympathize with, and they’re also someone that can tell you to get your phone out and call your professional trainers. Your dog may be a true service dog, but they’re still an animal that doesn’t speak your language, and that is trying to make an acute medical response for a mental illness or other health situation.

And there are times that it isn’t the animal driving you nuts. Sometimes it’s fitting the training sessions into a very full day. It could be business owners that don’t understand the difference between a real service dog team and fake service dogs. Accordingly, you keep running into people bringing their pet dogs into grocery stores because no one questions service dog vests.

Sometimes, as a handler, it’s your family that’s pushing you past your frustration tolerance. It may not even be just one thing. Maybe it’s all the frustrations you’ve had with the animal over the past years.

It can be the general public that has you at the end of your rope.

There are a lot of things when it comes to service dogs that can make you feel as though you’re about to snap.

And that’s okay. Again, you’re trying to train an animal to do specific tasks and service work to respond to medical needs.

Why a Service Dog Doula?

I’m not going to lie to you and say that an ‘official’ service dog doula is the only one you can unload to. My mom served as my emotional support person most of the time, as I was training–and attempting to train–my four tries at this journey. She was so important, and I wouldn’t have gotten through it if I didn’t have her. Just like I wouldn’t have gotten through it if I didn’t have my professional trainers.

The thing is, though? There was a definite difference in how she handled my frustrations and fears about my dogs, and how fellow handlers responded.

Why?

Because the fellow handlers were on their own service dog team. They understood the nuances that come from being so closely linked to an animal.

My mom understood that you can only complain for so long before you get to go out and do something about the problem. Nine times out of ten, that answer was ‘call your service dog trainer and get her advice on how to fix the issues so they don’t become chronic conditions.’ My fellow handlers, most of the time didn’t have a problem with letting the issue stay, because there are some things that are just the dog’s quirks. Both are important, and I would often get to bounce between the two.

What Makes a Good Service Dog Doula?

A Service Dog Doula Knows how to Help Build Your Team

A service dog team is far more than just the dog and the handler. Sure, those are the two you may see in grocery stores, but it’s far deeper than that.

I’ve mentioned it before, and I’ll mention it, again. I cannot recommend enough that you get a professional service dog trainer to work with. Yes, even if you’re owner-training.

Whether you’re training a psychiatric service dog, a hearing dog, a guide dog, or a seizure dog like Cor is? It’s a lot of work. Trying to balance the physical challenge that you need an assistance dog for, at the same time? That’s even harder. Especially if this is the first dog you’re training.

Maybe you’re just getting started with a service animal. Or maybe you’re already in the world and are realizing you feel like you’re drowning. A service dog doula should be able to help you connect with a trainer or training organization to help you.

A Service Dog Doula Knows Dogs are Animals–Not Robots

A good service dog doula will be able to recognize that all working dogs have bad days. Sometimes, that’s all the dog’s behavior is showing–they’re having an off day, no biggie. Other times, they’ll be able to be the person that explains you’re making this harder on yourself than you need. You have a professional trainer that you hired to help you train the service work, specific tasks, and the dog’s behavior. Use the help you’re already paying for.

And, while you’re at it, let your service animal be an emotional support animal for you. Sit and cuddle each other. Recognize neither of you is perfect, and that’s exactly what makes a service dog team so beautiful. Sure, the dog has public access, but that doesn’t mean the only time they’re able to work is when they’re in public places. It may sound obvious, but it can be so easy to forget these animals are still pets, and, often, they need to be able to be just that.

A Service Dog Doula Challenges You

It can be easy to let things like training sessions, grooming, and keeping in contact with your trainer fall by the wayside. There’s just too much going on in a day, and stuff slips through the cracks.

The problem is, the time will pass, anyway. And if you aren’t working on keeping skills sharp, they’ll dull. Use it or lose it, as the old saying goes.

It can be easy–especially for those whose health challenges make getting out of bed in the morning difficult–to keep up with training sessions. The thing with working dogs, though, is that they need to work.

A service dog doula can challenge you to do it, anyway. They can come up with ways and life hacks for you to remember what you need to do, and for it to be rewarding enough you don’t just brush it off. Or, to put a less pleasant spin on it, they can nag you to make sure you do what you need to.

A Service Dog Doula KnowS A Person’s Disability Doesn’t Define Them

If you know me, you know I don’t like using the d-word. I have a service dog, so I technically have a disability, but I’m not a disabled person; I’m a differently abled person.

Some people embrace the term ‘disabled person,’ and that’s fine–use what labels you feel best describe your mental illness or health challenges.

But, for me? I’m not unable to do things. I get to do them differently than most. It’s why I have a service dog. It’s why I get to trick myself into doing the adulting thing. You may have PTSD symptoms the dog gets to help you overcome. You may have chronic conditions the dog helps you with, I’m not denying that.

But that isn’t who you are. You are more than whatever you’re struggling with and can overcome limits. A service dog, and a service dog doula, are there to help support you on your way.

If you’re interested in trying out a service dog doula, and seeing if it’ll help you on your journey, book a complimentary free session here.